Dafinitions

"Dafinitions" are created by taking a word from the dictionary, changing a letter or two, and then supplying a new definition. Here are some classic examples:

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.

Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.